so i go to see my friendly family doctor. i told him that i was there against my will. my mother made me go to see him. apparently my loving husband had informed her that i have been complaining of a headache for the past weeks. my mother proceeds to begin "working on me" to call the doctor for an appointment.
"while you are there be sure to tell him about your sinus trouble. and how you have been so tired lately. and let him know about your constant throwing up....blah blah blah."
this continues for another 20 minutes. somewhere in the midst of this, she suggests that i make a list of problems so that i don't leave anything out. when i decline, she offers to make the list for me.
this is my mother. i am slowing becoming my mother.
when i was 12 years old my mother put "the curse" on me. i had just returned from spending the night at a friend's house. this friend of mine was very "cosmo girl." she had taught me all about the word: fuck. how to use it, when to use it, etc. we had spent hours practicing. i enjoyed this very much. so much, that when i returned home i tried it out on my own mom. i was in my room, which was a complete mess for most of the 18 years i lived there. my mom came into my room and simply asked if i was ever planning on cleaning up my room. my response to this innocent question was: "MYO'f-ing'B."
ever have one of those moments when you wish you had the power to stop time and reverse it? as the words left my mouth and were hanging in the air i desperately wished i had this power. i could see the words just hanging there, floating from my mouth across the room to my mother. i wish i could have reached out, grabbed them and shoved them into my pocket.
my mother received this verbal assualt with all the composure of a seasoned general.
"you know, jennifer.....you and i don't have to like each other. in fact, there will be a period of time in which you don't want to be around me. i understand this and it is ok. because we will survive this period of time and will come out of it as friends. i just want you to know that."
i stood there frozen. i couldn't believe she was going to let me off the hook. didn't she hear what i said? didn't she hear that sassy pre-teen voice of mine? isn't she going to punish me? then she laid "the curse" on me. just as i thought she was going to leave my room, she paused at the door....gave me a look to melt the polar icecaps (bette davis would have been proud) and said:
"one day i hope you have a daughter that treats you the way you treat me."
HELP. i wasn't so young that i didn't understand the implications of her threat. and yes, it was a threat. i tried in vain to roll my eyes and shrug my shoulders, but deep down i was terrified. and i had reason to be. enter: EMMA. the chickens have come home to roost. and don't think that kathryn isn't loving every minute of it.
so, i tell the doctor that i am fine and that i am there against my will. i haven't been in charge of my own will for quite some time. he is so kind and patient. he decided that since i was there i should take advantage of the opportunity and enjoy the peace and quiet of his office. i asked if i could take a nap. he smiled at me and said, "you have 20 minutes," and closed the door. i left the doctor's office very happy, recharged, and with nasal spray and an antihistimine.
when my husband and mother asked what the doctor had recommended, i informed them i wasn't to do anymore housework because it irritates my allergies. i don't think they bought this....
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