today my firsborn, my beautiful son, Nikolas was born. he is now 6 years old. i can't believe it. i remember almost everything about the day he was born. mostly i remember, after pushing for an hour, whispering to my husband "what is taking so long. what are we waiting for?" dan just laughed and said in his loud voice, "sweetie, we are waiting for you to push the baby out." what had i been doing for an hour? was this pre-pushing? the dr. informed me there was no such thing. that if i wanted the baby out i would have to push him all the way out.
FOUR HOURS LATER, this beautiful purple and green lizard-boy with an extended head finally arrived. when they placed nik on my chest i actually gasped. the dr. said, "yep, a 10 lb. 12 oz. baby will do that to you."
i always laugh to myself when i hear of women who absolutely refuse to even consider any type of medication for childbirth. i salute you. me, i like the drugs.
but, this is not about me, although i am responsible for him being here. never mind the pain i endured. never mind the extra backfat i now carry with me. never mind my body looks as if an animal clawed his way out. i have nikolas.
nikolas is now 6. he is the most interesting person i know. he uses phrases like, "by the way" and "did i happen to mention." I LOVE THAT. he has a wonderful sense of humor and a very sharp intellect. he has lost so much of the momma's boy personality, but still likes it when i snuggle to him in bed. when i say goodbye to him at school he insists on just waving. no messy kisses allowed. but when i tuck him in at night he whispers in my ear, "momma i am going to buy a house near you when i grow up. that way i can still see you everyday. will you still love me?"
this is where the happy tears flow freely. i can't even imagine what this beautiful boy could do that would ever make me stop loving him. dan's parents haven't spoken to him in years. my parents forgot nik's birthday today. this baffles me. i constantly strive to keep what is most important in my mind. HUSBAND AND CHILDREN. it may not seem like a lot, but to me i am the richest woman in the world.
after opening his presents, we had cake for breakfast. nik and emma have been home sick all week with the damn HAND FOOT AND MOUTH virus. i have also fallen victim of this motherfucker of a virus. nik's mouth is covered with so many sores he can barely eat. nik was unable to eat his birthday cake and ran crying to his room. "this is the worst birthday of my life!" how small do we feel? i promised nik that once all the sores were healed there would be cake for breakfast again. this brought a smile to my boo's face. that smile made my day.
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