THE RETURN OF THE HERMIT CRABS

ahh yes, election day. this is the day that we wake up our children so that they can be part of the election process. and let me tell you there is nothing that puts a 3 year old in a bad mood quicker than waking her up at 6:30, getting her dressed, skipping her breakfast and making her wait in line (in the rain). what fun!

to kill time (and yes, we had plenty of it, since it took almost an hour to vote) i talked and talked to my babies about how important this day is, this is not a right, but an obligation to vote. i reminded them that this is the proudest moment you can have as an american by taking a small part in the giant political machine. one man, one vote. when the children would get restless (weren't we all restless--what is it about waiting in line that triggers my bladder) i would remind them that men and women faught wars and died so that we could exercise our duty by voting. there i am, caught up in the moment, reminding them that there was a time that not everyone could vote. i made serious eye contact with emma, as if to use mental telepathy, so that she (as a woman) would understand that voting is a relatively new thing for us chicks.

nik, being nik asked: "hey mom..did the FOUR FATHERS have to wait in line back then to vote?"

not about to be stumped, i replied (in a high-pitched ranting voice): "YES! it is a long tradition that we wait in a long and confusing line only to be yelled at by the hermit crabs and then finally get our ballot and cast our vote. my parents always brought me and now i intend to inflict this cruel tradition on to you and your sister!"

nik: "mom, (long pause) i am not sure if i want to ask you, but are you ok?"

me: "yes, i am just so proud to be an american."

with that, emma threw her bag of cheez-its into the air. as the cheez-its rained down on me one of the hermit crabs said, "maybe next time you will leave your children at home." i want you to know that i did not say the following in reply:

NEXT TIME, YOU'LL BE DEAD

hey, i did not say it, but i could of. i swear to god, if kerry doesn't win this election i am personally going to go to boston and knock his teeth out. nik is also hoping that kerry wins. i asked him why he likes kerry.

nik: "i like the hair."

hey, people have used lesser reasoning when picking a president. it is still a free country....