it's the most wonderful time of the year....

i love the month of august. i haven't always loved august. as a child i hated the month of august because it reminded me that i would be returning to school very soon.

let the worry and anxiety run free.....

as you may have guessed, i was the type of kid that used to spend the entire month of august dreading the upcoming school year. i can even remember telling my mom that i couldn't possibly go to 2nd grade because i didn't know 2nd grade math. my mother would patiently try and explain that i would be taught 2nd grade math and didn't need to know 2nd grade anything. she would lovingly explain that i would be taught 2nd grade stuff, but i would just look at her like she was crazy. i was also the type of kid who would obsess about my testing scores.

"look at my reading level, i only read at a 4th grade level. kristin reads at a 5th grade level. and look at my math scores. i only reached 2nd grade level in math."

my mom would remind me that i was only in 1st grade and had nothing to worry about, but i knew she was lying. i wonder if she ever spent a sleepless night whispering with my dad about my future.

mom: "how can she only be reading at a 4th grade level at age 7? what will become of her?"
dad: "i don't know, but she isn't living here for the rest of her life."
mom: "what kind of life can she possibly have with those math scores? "
dad: "i don't know, but i do know she is not living here after high school."

what is truly sad is that i haven't done that much with my life, so maybe that testing really did predict my future. lucky for my dad i don't live at home anymore. can you hear the sigh of relief?

now i love august. the main reason for my love of august is because it is the month of our vacation. i look forward to one week up north with my little family, dog included. there is something very calming about staring out at the lake or watching your kids run naked up and down the beach in the early evening, or running to catch the train and waving at the conductor. i live for this week.

i also live for the end of august because it means the return of school, not just for me, but for the monkeys. now when i see all the "back to school merchandise" my heart fills with glee. it has been a really fun summer with my kids, but let's get real here. i may not be ready for all the drama that comes with the school year, but i am definitely running out of activities for the little people. i don't want to paint, paste, bake, go to the park to watch you climb the monkey bars, put the pool out, turn on the sprinkler, play restaurant, play magic princesses, paint your toenails, make "fun" lunches for an indoor picnic ANYMORE.

I AM JUST ABOUT DONE WITH FULL TIME ENTERTAINING. LET THE QUIET MORNINGS COME TO ME SOON.

does this make me a bad mother. at this point i don't really give a shit. all i know is i am packing to leave on a vacation that doesn't start for another week.